Social Pillar - at the heart of our relationships
It's not all about the parties or the number of likes on social media here! Our social wellness is about how effective we build and maintain positive relationships. There are a few key areas to this and like all the areas of wellness we work with, there will be times it comes naturally and other times we will need to conciously take steps to work on it. Which is a good point to remind everyone that each of us will have different needs across the wellness areas. Find what mix suits you - don't compare to what others may or may not need. Some of you will need to place more emphasis on building emotional wellness, others physical wellness, others environmental wellness. For others there will be a need to work on more than one! Learn to listen to your mind, body and soul.
To build effective positive relationships with others we need to be able to communicate effectively, treat ourselves and others with respect, have empathy, have ability to reflect on how our own behaviours influence outcomes and situations and have a positive relationship with ourselves.
It's common for us to state "He always........" "She never.........". We blame others for outcomes and situations we find ourselves in when our social wellness is below the level we need it to be. When our social wellness is at the right level we are able to identify our part in the situation. We are also able to understand that others actions are driven from the "stories" they have running in their own head.
Sometimes it easier to describe how something should be when we describe what it isn't. Social Wellness is not having the most friends/followers on social media.
Someone with a single true friend, both of whom treat each other with respect, build each other up, and encourage each other to be the best versions of themselves - that's social wellness. Social Wellness doesn't involve leaving your authentic self behind to "fit in". It doesn't require you to dress a certain way, drive a certain car or attend certain events. Nor does it involve talking about others!!!! A mantra I try to live by (and when I don't it literally makes my stomach churn) small minds talk about others, greater minds talk about events, the greatest minds talk about ideas.
When we are building our Social Wellness, like a fruit tree to really thrive, we may need to chop away some dead wood. I bet if you were to take just a few moments now to think about "friends" who literally sap the life out of you. Now think about those friends who energise you, who you energise. It's not that you always agree but its that you can both respect each other and still be there for each other even when opinions may be on opposite sides of the divide. Build you Social Wellness by spending more time with those people and less (if any at all!!!!!) with the deadwood
Social Wellness also involves how we are there for others. We need to give, we need to understand, we need to respect and we need to grow others. We need to actively listen and not always come back with our own time that we too did that/had that done/knows an uncle..... you know what I mean!
This Weeks Challenge
Like all Wellness Pillars, we need to be conscious of our actions and actively take steps to build it up. This coming week have a think if you could do any of the following to build your Social Wellness
Think about your "friendships" - are they built on respect and a mutual desire to help each other be the best version of themselves? If not think about what action you could take to make it a friendship that does. If they are - catch up and celebrate the wonderful gift you both have in each other.
Do something for someone else - contribute to your community by volunteering for a club/organisation, have a proper conversation with your neighbours (realise for some of you that conversation will involved an introduction!) - time poor try making regular donations to food banks or something else where goods rather than time is needed.
If you haven't done this already - understand your values. Once you are clear on your values so many of your torn decisions/actions will be easy to make. You'll start attracting the right people and you begin to thrive.
Ensure that your own self talk isn't disrespectful - thoughts become words, words become actions - write three great things about yourself everyday for 30 days.
You really are a unique, beautiful human who deserves to create the best life for yourself, where you thrive and actively participate each day!