So what's the excuse this time?
Ask anyone why they didn't achieve a goal and some very plausible excuse will flow from their lips portraying them as some poor victim who something "happened to". I call bullshit and so should you if you really want to create a life that you actively participate and thrive in.
Too harsh you think? Stay with me and see if you can see where I am coming from and maybe, just maybe you'll be calling bullshit too (in the kindest and most compassionate of ways of course).
Our minds are amazing with our brains working continuously and subconsciously to keep us in a comfortable bubble where we are always right. It seeks information and "stories" to back up our beliefs. The problem with this is that we aren't always correct and many of our stories need changing, updating or outright destroying.
One of the number one excuses is "I don't have the time". Let's be real here. We all have the same amount of time so rather than say "I don't have time" try "It's not my priority". There is nothing wrong with setting your own priorities, and you don't need to justify these to anyone if you are living your values. The benefit in changing your language means you swap your position from being a negative and lacking in resource (in this case time) to a position of power and control where you have decided your priorities and this just isn't above the other things you are doing. Take a moment now and think of a time you have used lack of time as an excuse - now swap out the excuse with your true statement "It's not my priority" - feel lighter and more empowered?
The other is story time. We all have stories that are like a wikipedia in our minds - continually feeding us information and not all of it 100% accurate. These stories have been created from past experiences - both experienced personally and experienced through others. Many of these stories were created to keep us safe - see a lion roaming loose and no one I know would go up to it and see what happens as they have never seen one in the flesh before. That's because we all carry the story of a lion being a danger - we didn't need to experience this ourselves for it to be true.
Some of our stories, despite being valid when first created, may no longer be serving us as we needed them to now. In fact some of these stories will be excuses that crop up time and time again. Be aware if you utter the terms "always" or "never" happens to me. Dig a little deeper and ask yourself why. Hint there are very few things that always or never happen (sun coming up each day is one of the few I can think of).
Busting excuses and getting real isn't an easy walk in the park. Remember our mind is trying to protect us. Trying to convince us we are always right. We aren't always right. Even the most beautifully kind people can be wrong. We all f%&k up and it is so so hard to admit this without trying to justify. Excuses are nothing more than us justifying not achieving something we set out to do. Be kind to yourself. Be real with yourself. Take notice of your "excuses" and challenge yourself - are they valid and are you really owning your reality. How can you change the situation so the excuse is no longer valid - what support or resources to do you need. Is it actually something you really want to do?
Excuses need the right environment to thrive. If you are clear on why you are trying to achieve the goal, how this aligns to your values, and how you are going to feel when you achieve it, you'll find you will brush off those excuses like a speck of dust. You've got this! If you need any support drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org and share what you are trying to achieve and the excuse(s) that keep cropping up and I'll support you to move forward. You'll be creating a life that you actively participate and thrive in.