New year and new resolutions are being made to ensure that 2020 is our best year yet. This is great as growth is key to a life that you actively participate and thrive in. But what happens when it’s not something you need to start to reach your goal, rather it’s something you need to stop?
It helps to remember how to achieve a goal in the first place so whether it is something you want to start, or something you want to stop the method is the same. I’ve written about goal setting in previous blogs so you can jump back into them for more details but here is the high level structure
Be clear on your bigger vision for the life you want
If you are clear on the life you are wanting to create (and this takes time) you will be able to see how this “resolution” helps move you closer - if it doesn’t move you closer to this life you should be asking is it really something you want to be spending your precious time and energy on? When you can see how this moves you closer it will be easier to overcome any excuses and barriers that are bound to come up along the journey. If you don’t know what you want your life to look like jump back into this blog for guidance.
Be clear on your values
When our goals and resolutions align with our values the “why” becomes clear and this is really powerful. Take for example a goal of running a marathon. If your values are Charity and Integrity on the face of it neither seem to tie into running a marathon. But think how they potentially could - perhaps raising money for a cause as you run? There is now a direct tie to your values so when it becomes hard your reason for pushing through is raising the money. This will trigger something deep inside you and give you the reason to achieve it. If you don’t know what your values are or don’t know where to start email me here and I’ll send you a free worksheet to help you identify them.
Make the goal or resolution SMART
If your goal is wishy washy so too will be the outcome! Make it specific (detail, detail, detail), measurable (how will you know when you have achieved it), achievable (this isn’t to limit your goals but to make sure you understand the gap between where you are now and where you want to be), Resources - do you have what you need to achieve eg time, skills, finances (again this isn’t to limit you it’s a reality check of what’s needed), Time bound - are you looking to achieve next week, next month or next year? Wanting more detail - take a look at this three minute read to give you some more guidance.
Lean into your Tribe
Here I talk about the importance of your tribe. That group of inspirational people (made up of people you know, spend time with and those you may never meet). As you journey through your goal you will need different tribe members to help cheer you on and provide potential perspective on things. Our true wellness relies on community and having good social connections. These connections can help you achieve your goals in ways your could never have thought of.
Excuses and Barriers
These are part of the journey you will be taking. In some ways by overcoming these it’s what makes achieving your goal so satisfying. Remember nothing worthwhile ever comes easy! These may take the form of habits that are no longer serving you, friends who are trying to keep their version of you. By the way real friends want to see you grow and improve too - if they try and keep you the same it may be time to put a bit of distance and in some cases ditch the drag altogether! Saying that understand that they are just humans and we humans aren’t too fond of change to give them some slack and make sure you communicate - maybe ditch if they continue to try and drag you back to a place you have outgrown. It may also be a lack of the resources you need for instance time. If it’s time remember to change “I don’t have time” with “this isn’t my priority”. If you have tied this goal to your values and your bigger picture this won’t sit comfortably with you so take a look at what you stop doing to make sure your time is spent on the good stuff. If excuses and barriers keep preventing you from achieving your goals take a read of this or get in touch and we can bust them together.
Have fun, laugh, be kind
Life is a beautiful journey and there seems to be a focus on achieving happiness. It’s important to remember that happiness is just an emotion and as such isn’t a destination to get to. It’s something that comes and goes - like all other emotions. Try and be present with what ever is going on today. Each emotion is valid, not good, not bad. There is a reason we are feeling it so take time to understand this, develop the ability to articulate what exactly it is you are feeling, be cognisant that this will pass, and be grateful for the opportunity this life has for you.
Here’s to you creating a life that you actively participate and thrive in - you've got this.